Self Care – Identify the payoff for staying where you are

Identify the payoff for staying where you are.

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Often we stay stuck due to fear. We stay in our comfort zone. The biggest reaction to fear is avoidance. So we create these routines that allow us to avoid what makes us fearful.

Self care includes looking at what is perpetuating the stress and the fear, what is creating physical, emotional and mental stress. Fear keeps 80% of people in fight or flight mode – this causes our body to secrete adrenaline.  The release of chemical messengers results in the production of the hormone cortisol, which increases blood pressure, blood sugar, and suppresses the immune system. Over an extended time, your organs start to wear out. We can stop this cycle by looking at the cause of our fears, digging into what is happening beyond the surface.

What else keeps us stuck? Often its the story we tell ourselves – it gives us a reason we are not successful, we cannot move forward, or we cannot make a change. We tell ourselves and others these stories. And these stories free us from the responsibility of moving forward. Change can be hard, and the fear makes causes discomfort. So we collude with our stories, and others buy into our stories too, and there is the payoff – we get to stay in our comfort zone!

Fear can be our greatest ENEMY or it can become our greatest ALLY. Take the time to talk to your fear, look at what is behind the fear, feel the feelings, engage with them. Often when we do this, they become much smaller, and more manageable.

Ask yourself these questions, and perhaps keep a  journal. This exercise might take several tries to become comfortable, but it will help you to move forward.

  • What do you fear?
  • Why do you fear it?
  • How does it imprison you?
  • What does it hold you back from doing?
  • How much energy do I give my fears? time spent supporting them, or running from them?

By identifying the answers to these questions, you can make decisions on how and when to move forward, and make changes.

In my personal experience, it is often when the discomfort and pain of staying where you are is greater than the fear of the unknown, that you get the courage to change. The payoff is no longer serving you.

Take the time to identify these stories your are telling yourself, and how they are serving you. The Roles you are playing in your life are perpetuating your patterns that keep you stuck.

Are playing your roles keeping you stuck? 

I encourage you to find me on Facebook @windhavenshaman and click on my introductory video for the Simple Living online Seminar, where I teach you to break free from your roles. Follow me on Facebook, and go to www.wind-haven.com to get the online program.

A simple life is a meaningful life, and you can get there by practicing extreme self care.

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Self Care – Identify where you are focusing on others and ignoring your own patterns

Self Care – so what does focusing on others have to do with taking care of ourselves?

Many of us are uncomfortable with our feelings, it can be painful, and we can be fearful of allowing ourselves to feel our emotions. Often as a result we create patterns of avoidance to mask our fear. And we get so stuck in the cycle of avoidance, that we no longer recognize it, we are stuck in unawareness, it becomes our shadow.

When we are not comfortable with our shadow, we project it outward, and let others wear it for us. We begin to focus on others, in patterns of victim, or rescuer. We take on those roles and focus on others, and do not listen to the clues that are triggered within. When we are rescuing someone, or creating a story how we are a victim at the hands of another, we are focusing on them, and creating conflict. If we begin to react to the stress created from the conflict, and it starts to erode our mental, emotional and physical health.

We are in a time of great transformation – we are moving from conflict and adverserial relationships t0 peaceful ones. But right now, as this new energy is being ushered in, people are gripped in fear. Avoidance is our greatest reaction to fear. So when we dont want to feel the fear, we avoid it by focusing on others.

self care, shamanism, windhavenshaman,

Life is an inside job.

If you could release yourself from these patterns, how much energy would you free up for something more constructive? Just take one step forward, and the universe will support you. Things can move forward quickly for us in the first few months of this year.

We are so busy entertaining ourselves, keeping our minds busy so that you do not think or feel, that you miss out on the endless flow of creativity available to you. Your true path will arise from your connection to your creativity, to nonphysical reality.

Our emotions can be very uncomfortable. Looking at our own patterns can be scary. But if we feel the fear, and do it anyway, that is the pattern that will move us forward.

I believe that each one of us is here to do something that you excel at – something you bring to the world that you are good at. And I believe that 2017 is the year to find that GIFT you bring to the world. This is the year to reach your highest potential.

You can reach that highest potential by stop taking care of everyone around you and start focusing on how you can take your gift into the world. Its time to start listening to the inner voice that is calling you to live to your highest potential.

It is time to stop focusing on others and start shining your light out into the world.

I encourage you to find me on Facebook @windhavenshaman and click on my introductory video for the Simple Living online Seminar. Follow me on Facebook, and go to www.wind-haven.com to get the online program. A simple life is a meaningful life, and you can get there by practicing extreme self care.

 

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Self Care – Identify where you are not taking care of yourself

2017 is a year that we need to practice extreme self care. This is going to be a great year if we take the time to do our work – practicing self care is one of those things that will make this a year full of joy and abundance.

Identify where you are not taking care of yourself.

This may include a list of the obvious things, including eating right, smoking and drinking less, or getting more exercise. Yes, look at those, and make small changes, a little at a time.

One of the areas I encourage you to look at is where you spend your time. Do you feel like you just dont have enough time to accomplish the things you need to, so this is one of the reasons that self care is pushed to the bottom of the list?

Pay attention to who you are choosing to spend your time with. You may have to make some adjustments. If you are spending time with people who deplete your energy, who constantly complain, and are negative, but do nothing to change their lives – stop spending time with them! Choose to spend your time in more positive relationships, or in more uplifting activities. You dont need to cut them out completely, but limit the amount of time you spend.

Pay attention to the activities you are spending time on. Are they productive? Are they uplifting? One of the activities that I want to talk about is movie marathons, or binge TV watching. People watch an average of 2-6 episodes of a series in one sitting. Its positively addictive – if you watch box sets of tv series, or have streaming television, it is so seductive to just watch one more… believe me, I have been seduced!  I have gone through a whole 2 day weekend where all I did was watch movie marathons. I came away thinking of the things I didnt get done, feeling drained and exhausted, and thinking now I have to start the work week and I feel so tired.

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What I have noticed people are doing is creating a routine that isolates them. Have you designed safe routines that allow you to avoid what you dont want to feel or experience? You  subconsciously create this safe but unnatural routine. But this routine is keeping you stuck in a pattern of avoidance.

In 2017, I encourage you to create new habits. What can you do for just 5 minutes that will break you out of your routine? The routine that you unconsciously designed to avoid your uncomfortable feelings.

Do anything that is out of normal makes you confront what your routine is designed to avoid. Think of the experience before getting on a roller coaster, your energy is changed. Contraction before expansion. People are missing the action step, get on the roller coaster, step out of your apartment for 5 minutes. A lot of us are in the state of worry and inaction.

Action steps are empowering! Make peace with the discomfort and the emotions. You cant meet your highest potential if you don’t meet those lower emotions. You can get into a loop where you are so stuck, trapped in the state of inaction. Find something that will shift that pattern – anything that will bring you awareness.  Action brings you in the direction you want. Step forward into the unknown, even if its scary. Put one foot forward, feel the discomfort, then listen to what that emotion is telling you. Then take another step. Take a risk, treat it as an adventure.

Some things you can consider doing:

  • get out of your house – go to the local coffee shop, take a class
  • Go for a 5 minute walk in nature
  • volunteer ( search: volunteer Calgary)
  • join a club (meetup.com)
  • start a hobby

I believe that each one of us is here to do something that you excel at – something you bring to the world that you are good at. And I believe that 2017 is the year to find that GIFT you bring to the world. This is the year to reach your highest potential. But you wont discover that highest potential hiding out in your bedroom!

Finding your highest potential starts with taking care of yourself. Self care has to make it on the list this year.

I encourage you to find me on Facebook @windhavenshaman and click on my introductory video for the Simple Living online Seminar. Follow me on Facebook, and go to www.wind-haven.com to get the online program. I also offer coaching and energy sessions, if you need help to make changes in your life.

A simple life is a meaningful life, and you can get there by practicing extreme self care.

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Self Care – Identify the message behind the emotions

Self Care is something we decide we need, and perhaps it is a big part of our New Years Resolutions – to eat better, get more exercise,  stop drinking, stop smoking, etc. But where do the wheels fall off the bike? Often we do well for a few days, then fall back into old habits. Then we decide to stop trying, its just too hard.

But just remember, are you going to change all at once? No, you probably will fail. But you have many little opportunities to make small changes, it is not going to happen in one moment. How can you do that?

Lets look at the first step that can help you to practice self care and lead to positive, lasting changes:

  1. Slow down – become fully present

When we look at the reason behind our habit – drinking, eating, smoking – often emotional issues lie beneath, and often the habit is developed to numb our emotions. Many of you have experienced very painful life events that have been very challenging for you.

Are you impacted in your home as one of the Albertans who have lost their jobs? Calgary’s unemployment rate hit a new high (Nov 2016)…  There is going to be a lag in the labour market improving coming out of this recession, and as a result I think Albertans need to brace themselves for still some tough months ahead in the (2017) labour market. (Todd Hirsch, ATB Financial told iNews880)

Whether you have experienced emotional loss, through death or divorce, have health issues, financial issues, I encourage you to look at this from the souls perspective. What is each emotion you are experiencing really trying to tell you? What is the benefit for you?

Learn to surrender to those feelings of hopelessness, anger, sadness, and allow them to come up, and become fully present to their message. Find a safe place you can do this. Allow these feelings to be washed up and be released. Be fully present to their message for you.

An analogy would be that you had a car accident on the way to work,  but not examining that the reason for the accident in the first place was a hatred of your job  and a desperate need to change jobs and a knowing that the time for growth and change was propelling you in a new direction. Your soul set up the accident for you, and created an opportunity. How sad if you got locked into the feelings of fear and bitterness, when you are missing the wonderful opportunity for growth.

Feel the feelings, be fully present to them, rather than attempting to numb them with food, drink, or television. Surrender fully to the feelings, allow them to wash through, release them, and you will feel so much lighter energetically! Will it be painful? Yes, but it will be worth it.feel-emotions

I remember my first time I experienced this feeling. I  was doing some journey work with a shaman coach, and noticed some feelings I had stuffed down since childhood. She encouraged me to allow the feelings to come up. I cried, and was sure I was going to throw up right there on her carpet! I allowed the feelings to rise, I became fully present to what they were telling me, and I didn’t get sick – the feelings released, and in that moment my vibration became lighter and clearer because I was no longer stuffing those feelings down. I was emotionally and physically exhausted, but I was free from those heavy, dark emotions I had been carrying around. Imagine the feeling of freedom!

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Imagine the possibility of doing that for yourself. What emotions are you carrying around that you are ignoring, pushing away? What are you not allowing yourself to engage with because it seems if you do this, you might fall apart and never recover? I guarantee you will. Allow yourself to slow down, and become fully present to your emotions.

I encourage you to find me on Facebook @windhavenshaman and click on my introductory video for the Simple Living online Seminar. Follow me on Facebook, and go to www.wind-haven.com to get the online program. A simple life is a meaningful life, and you can get there by practicing extreme self care.

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2017 Practice Extreme Self Care

2017 Practice Extreme Self Care

Welcome to another new year.  2016 was a bit rough for many of us. But what is going to make 2017 any better? Extreme self care.

Is your life becoming far too stressful to manage? Are you stressed to the point of questioning your health?

I am Deanna Strandquist, a modern day shaman who practices the Simple Living philosophy, I can only encourage you to keep trying. And I can offer you some tools to help you navigate through the pitfalls with ease.

I work with people who are tired of sabotaging themselves, who want to be free of unhealthy habits and want to feel successful again.

I want to share a story of what self care might look like. I had a client who appeared to have everything. She had a thriving, successful business, a loving relationship, and a dream for the future. But something brought her to work with me. As we worked through finding her deeper meaning, she revealed the fears that were holding her back. She was playing roles in her life that were no longer a fit for her. We did a shamanic journey to help her realize where she was holding onto her roles, and helped her to release them and find her deeper meaning. She was able to empower herself  and start supporting her desire to help others. We established some homework for her to maintain this change in her life.

How were we able to get my client to this point? Through extreme self care. We were able to follow these steps that you can use too:

  1. Slow down, become fully present
  2. Identify where exactly you are not taking care of yourself
  3. Identify where you are focusing on others, and ignoring your own patterns
  4. Identify what is the payoff for staying where you are?

meditation

Self care a little at a time is the key to loving yourself completely.

  1. Are playing your roles keeping you stuck?
  2. Do you know how to take care of your energy?
  3. Are you ready to create a new story?

I encourage you to find me on Facebook @windhavenshaman and click on my introductory video for the Simple Living online Seminar. Follow me on Facebook, and go to www.wind-haven.com to get the online program. A simple life is a meaningful life, and you can get there by practicing extreme self care.

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The Inner Wolf

Do you feel that other people are judging you? Are you in some way holding yourself back from living life the way you want to because you are afraid that other people won’t approve? Are you critica…

Source: The Inner Wolf

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Simple Living = Clear Communication

The two biggest topics fight about are money and sex. Clear communication and negotiation skills are key factors in successfully navigating these top relationship mine fields.

Following are some tips to navigate your way:

  1. Focus on your own wants, needs and desires and be clear on what you need. Also be clear on how you will fulfill them – yourself.  Fill your own cup, dont make demands on others to fill it for you – this will only lead to disappointment and failure.
  2. Negotiate – dont retaliate. There are always two sides to every discussion, and punishing your partner for disagreeing with you can cause unnecessary tension. Remember that sex should NEVER be used for a bartering tool.
  3. Treat your relationship like a business meeting – be prepared for a clear, frank discussion on a regular basis. Setting aside emotions is critical to keeping balance in negotiations.

70% of communication is non-verbal, so keep in mind how you are acting, facial Simple Living relationships, clear communication, Wind Havenexpressions, and body language might be contradicting what is said. Avoid making subtle suggestions, then allow it to fester and grow beneath the surface, and erupt when least expected, and the other person will be completely blindsided by something they didn’t see coming. Be clear and honest about how you are feeling.

Commit to open and honest communication in your relationship. Practice spending time alone together in which to have regular discussions. Never be too busy with life to devote time to your relationship.

 

Devote time alone with your partner to having open and honest communication.

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