Self Care – Identify the payoff for staying where you are

Identify the payoff for staying where you are.


Often we stay stuck due to fear. We stay in our comfort zone. The biggest reaction to fear is avoidance. So we create these routines that allow us to avoid what makes us fearful.

Self care includes looking at what is perpetuating the stress and the fear, what is creating physical, emotional and mental stress. Fear keeps 80% of people in fight or flight mode – this causes our body to secrete adrenaline.  The release of chemical messengers results in the production of the hormone cortisol, which increases blood pressure, blood sugar, and suppresses the immune system. Over an extended time, your organs start to wear out. We can stop this cycle by looking at the cause of our fears, digging into what is happening beyond the surface.

What else keeps us stuck? Often its the story we tell ourselves – it gives us a reason we are not successful, we cannot move forward, or we cannot make a change. We tell ourselves and others these stories. And these stories free us from the responsibility of moving forward. Change can be hard, and the fear makes causes discomfort. So we collude with our stories, and others buy into our stories too, and there is the payoff – we get to stay in our comfort zone!

Fear can be our greatest ENEMY or it can become our greatest ALLY. Take the time to talk to your fear, look at what is behind the fear, feel the feelings, engage with them. Often when we do this, they become much smaller, and more manageable.

Ask yourself these questions, and perhaps keep a  journal. This exercise might take several tries to become comfortable, but it will help you to move forward.

  • What do you fear?
  • Why do you fear it?
  • How does it imprison you?
  • What does it hold you back from doing?
  • How much energy do I give my fears? time spent supporting them, or running from them?

By identifying the answers to these questions, you can make decisions on how and when to move forward, and make changes.

In my personal experience, it is often when the discomfort and pain of staying where you are is greater than the fear of the unknown, that you get the courage to change. The payoff is no longer serving you.

Take the time to identify these stories your are telling yourself, and how they are serving you. The Roles you are playing in your life are perpetuating your patterns that keep you stuck.

Are playing your roles keeping you stuck? 

I encourage you to find me on Facebook @windhavenshaman and click on my introductory video for the Simple Living online Seminar, where I teach you to break free from your roles. Follow me on Facebook, and go to to get the online program.

A simple life is a meaningful life, and you can get there by practicing extreme self care.


About Deanna Wind Haven Shaman

Deanna Strandquist is a modern day Shaman who uses the ancient wisdom in our modern world. Working with a shaman is an approach to self care that puts you in charge to‍‍‍ clear a full range of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual influences that affect your overall well being. When the traditional methods are no longer working, consider exploring another way to break free to live your life in an authentic way.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Self Care – Identify the payoff for staying where you are

  1. Stacy says:

    I like your statement “often when the discomfort and pain of staying where you are is greater than the fear of the unknown, you get the courage to change.” It reminds me of Anais Nin “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s