Relationships can be a core issue in Simple Living. How can you live simply when you are struggling in your relationships?
Get a vision of yourself – you are practicing Simple Living tips – creating your sanctuary, doing your personal work, mediating, you have your beautiful little altar with candles and music, life is beautiful. Then you walk out your door, … and all hell breaks loose! And you are left wondering what happened, and what can I do to change this?
No matter what area of life our relationship conflicts exist, whether its our partner, a parent, our kids, our co-worker, or the guy on the street, the same principles apply.
What is happening behind the scenes is an energy exchange, and the more you persist in pushing forward your energy, the more the conflict will escalate, then the other person feels threatened by this exchange, and becomes defensive. So how can we step out of this pattern?
You can shift this energy pattern by showing love. Its very simple, but extremely powerful. Why? Because at a deeper level this person you are in conflict with is holding up a mirror, showing you a part of yourself that you need to heal and integrate. So when you step back from the conflict and show them love, it diffuses the conflict. When you are showing love, it must be sincere. Learn to let go of the feelings that were triggered and let them wash through, then with your intent thank that person for showing you the piece in you that you need to show more love.
“You can be right, or you can be happy” Gerald G Jampolsky. This quote shows us very easily how this concept of Simple Living works. If we refuse to diffuse the energy, and insist on being right, the conflict will continue.
Here are the 2 Simple Steps to diffusing this energy conflict:
- When you step into this conflict, respond with “Thank You” and mean it! Search deep within yourself and draw upon the knowing that they are showing you a piece of yourself that needs more love, and open your heart to give love.
- Offer them a compliment – it must be sincere. This may take some practice, but keep working to become comfortable with it.
When you practice this diffusion, the other person may still come back with an insult, or a scathing remark. When this happens, repeat the steps, just show love.
Does this mean we have to agree with their point of view? Absolutely not! But what is really happening below the surface has nothing to do with the literal words coming out of their mouth. They are only showing you where they have been wounded and in need of healing, which mirrors the place in which you also need to heal.
So if you can have the courage to flex your heart muscle and give love back to this negative person, you will break the cycle of conflict in your relationship.